A Piece of my Thought

What's sup Diary!
Today I've got feeling to write my life stories in here.

Althou its nothing, but just listen and keep it in here.

well, It's actually about my exam. I went throu these college life with alot of hardship.
I don't know how to explain it in words, but there's one thing that's always in my mind.

"I Miss my Family"

Everything that i went throu, from the unknown social life to my love life. I've always think of my family. I feels like I need a spirit to live on, someone who's there for me to think so I can went through all of these without even meet them.

I can't say that the social life in Jakarta is hard, because alot of people around me are supporting me. What I mean is, friendship. Some people here are just "Too Nice" and some people here are just as rock head (*Someone that's hard to communicate with) and some of them are just... typically "Unique"  in my mind.

But behind these all friendship things. I just can't believe in them. It's not that I hate to believe them or don't wanna believe them. But I just hard to open my feelings to them, hard to accept them, and I can't believe in my self too...
and..

"Trust is some thing that's hard to get, and easy to lose it"

I know many of you may think "You just have to open your feelings and accept them" . But this is not as simple as it was writen. Even in some of the frienship with girls, I find my self hard to decide which one is the one I keep as friend and which one is the one that i love as partner. Maybe its because I cant trust my self. Why you ask? Its because I'm afraid that if I get a wrong move, another will get dissapointed and the other will get me wrong and make a distance between us. Therefore I decided,

"Confusion is normal, it's a sign that you're growing from the inside of yours"

Thats all, Diary. Thanks for listening my absurd feelings that I don't wanted anyone know, because its too deep and too hard to understand what I think.